A few months ago, my world was rocked to the core…the bosses in charge were moving my cubicle. To you, it might not seem like a big deal; to me, it was catastrophic. I hate change. I am a woman of routine. Change is upsetting. If there is going to be change in my life, it has to come slowly and with lots of planning. Intensive therapy doesn’t hurt either.
Turns out, change isn’t such a bad thing. Maybe it’s the new cubicle, maybe it’s a coincidence of timing, maybe it’s some strange cosmic force, but in the past few months, I’ve become more daring, more assertive, and most importantly, more open with those around me. I was never really comfortable opening up to people before. But now, I am. So, in the spirit of transparency, here’s my story -
Let’s start with the obvious. I’m a Pisces. With brown hair and brown eyes. I was born with a rare craniofacial abnormality. I’m hearing impaired (hint, if I’m nodding and smiling stupidly at you, I have no idea what you just said). I am both mystified and mistrustful of fax machines. I was a chronic bed wetter until late adolescence. I drive too fast. I dance in my kitchen. I have a foster cat named Phoebe. I order things from QVC. I hate marshmallows.
And my biggest secret of all, the one that I am most embarrassed about, is that I cannot smell. It’s a bonus when someone passes gas; not so much when the plastic platter you’ve stuck in the oven (yeah, bad call on my part) starts to melt, filling your kitchen with a noxious odor that even a four year old knows is yucky. So, when the office smelled like rotten eggs, I had no idea what that meant. I just smiled and agreed that it was gross. When I bought a candle with the scent “Be Thankful,” I had no idea if I should have been thankful…I just bought it because it was red. Whew, admitting that was easy enough! To the people I lied to, I apologize. Some secrets are harder to reveal than others. Now, the heavy stuff.
I have a massive inferiority complex (the aforementioned craniofacial abnormality has a little to do with that…more on that another day). My brother is wittier, my cousins are prettier, my friends are funnier, my colleagues are more intelligent, Carrie Underwood is a better singer, and just about everyone is more stylish than me. No wonder I need a daily afternoon nap; it is exhausting comparing myself to everyone else on the planet.
But enough is enough. In 2011, I’m going to be okay with just being me. And that’s what this blog is about, letting go of 31 years of insecurities, being open about who and why I am the way I am, taking risks, having adventures, and exploring new things.
Welcome to my life! The door's open...so come on in.
Tomorrow…7 in ‘11!