Sunday, January 30, 2011

The Dating Game

This online dating thing feels a lot like high school gym class when teams were being picked for the volleyball, basketball, softball, and soccer games that made Phys Ed torture for an unathletic girl like me.  It used to feel like I was standing in front of a firing squad as I waited for the (always) super cute, super athletic captains to make their team selections.  I’d go from hoping they’d pick me, to wondering why I wasn’t getting picked, to wishing that I was back in the locker room or somewhere else, far, far away (usually the library).
When it comes to dating, if you haven’t already figured it out, I never even went into the gym to try to get on a team; I’m still in the locker room tying my sneaks.  But with my online profile 96% complete (the remaining 4% costs $5.95 which is such a rip-off* - if someone wants the full 100%, they can just wait to meet me), it looks like my sneaks are tied, double-knotted, and ready to hit the gym floor.
Guess what?  Nobody’s picking me!  Sure, I’ve gotten a bunch of profile views but no one’s broken the ice yet…seriously, that’s what we’re supposed to do, send an icebreaker to get to know one another better.  Nothing.  Nada.  And the voice in my head is saying, here we go again, nobody’s picking me…why’d I even leave the locker room?  There’s another voice too, the one I promised myself that I wasn’t going to pay attention to anymore…the one saying, well, clearly they’re not picking you because you’re not one of the pretty girls.  That voice is really annoying.  And really shallow.  I mean, even I know relationships aren’t based on looks.  (They’re based on the 29 scientifically proven points of compatibility, duh!) 
The other day, after listening to me whine about all of this, TopChef and Caesar Rodney put things into perspective for me.  They said that I should send the first icebreaker (well, what they really did was give me a homework assignment...I love homework).  I can’t remember who said it but the advice was this - if you’re going to wait for the person as shy as Denise to send an icebreaker, you’ll be waiting a long time.  That makes perfect sense…what if I’m finally the captain of the team and my perfect match is sitting on his couch wondering why he hasn’t gotten picked?  Maybe he’s waiting for me to do the picking!  So, that’s what I’m gonna do.  I just have to re-tie my sneaks first.   
Now, how many guys make up a basketball team? 
*Denise factoid – there are certain situations in which, I can be perceived as, um, cheap.  


  1. Get those shoes tied and your butt out on the floor!!! Also, perhaps if you spent less money on eating out you could "afford" to post your entire profile in order to meet "your match.' Just sayin' . . . :D

  2. Oh, I can afford's just a matter of principle! And geez, I only ate out twice this whole weekend!