When I was little, I had two claims to fame – I never looked back on my way to the operating room and I always had a remarkably quick recovery afterwards. The bruises would heal, the physical pain would subside, and I’d be knee-deep in get well presents in a matter of days. Oh to be young again!
On Saturday night, I had a wee bit of a mishap that involved an offensive step, a flip-flop, and me. I was coming out of the Metro station, preparing to make a sarcastic comment about the escalator and bam! I went down. As I was falling towards the concrete steps, all I could think was, I’m going to hit face first and break my jaw. As painful as a broken jaw would be, it would’ve been even more painful to call my father to tell him that the very expensive face that he paid for was broken. Luckily, I have the agility of a cat half Phoebe’s size – or just plain dumb luck – and I managed to twist my body so that my ankle smashed into the steps and the rest of the left side of my body followed. But don’t worry. The face is safe!
I’m not gonna lie. There were quite a few expletives. Actually only one expletive. Said multiple times. Loudly. But it made me feel better.
To make a long story short – nothing’s broken.
Now for the whine. Yes, I know there are people in the world who are suffering more than me. But right now, I don’t care about them all that much. I care about me. And me hurts.
My entire body hurts. It really, really hurts. Like, all I want to do is lie in bed, doing nothing, staring up at the ceiling fan thinking about the guy who invented the Swiffer thing that cleans ceiling fan blades. What a smart guy he is. Unfortunately, life is not conducive to just lying in bed, doing nothing, pining after the Swiffer dude. Besides, the TV in my bedroom isn’t connected. And I can only go so long without TV.
Every little movement makes me want to yell a few expletives. Unfortunately, life is not conducive to yelling random expletives as I go about my daily routine. Geez, life is not very conducive to me these days!
This post has no real point. I’m just tired and cranky and it was either telling you about this or complaining about the annoying scooters that all the just-back-in-town-UMD-student-athletes have. I figured the scooters could wait for another day.
Today, I just want to whine.
So, thanks for listening.
On Saturday night, I had a wee bit of a mishap that involved an offensive step, a flip-flop, and me. I was coming out of the Metro station, preparing to make a sarcastic comment about the escalator and bam! I went down. As I was falling towards the concrete steps, all I could think was, I’m going to hit face first and break my jaw. As painful as a broken jaw would be, it would’ve been even more painful to call my father to tell him that the very expensive face that he paid for was broken. Luckily, I have the agility of a cat half Phoebe’s size – or just plain dumb luck – and I managed to twist my body so that my ankle smashed into the steps and the rest of the left side of my body followed. But don’t worry. The face is safe!
I’m not gonna lie. There were quite a few expletives. Actually only one expletive. Said multiple times. Loudly. But it made me feel better.
To make a long story short – nothing’s broken.
Now for the whine. Yes, I know there are people in the world who are suffering more than me. But right now, I don’t care about them all that much. I care about me. And me hurts.
My entire body hurts. It really, really hurts. Like, all I want to do is lie in bed, doing nothing, staring up at the ceiling fan thinking about the guy who invented the Swiffer thing that cleans ceiling fan blades. What a smart guy he is. Unfortunately, life is not conducive to just lying in bed, doing nothing, pining after the Swiffer dude. Besides, the TV in my bedroom isn’t connected. And I can only go so long without TV.
Every little movement makes me want to yell a few expletives. Unfortunately, life is not conducive to yelling random expletives as I go about my daily routine. Geez, life is not very conducive to me these days!
This post has no real point. I’m just tired and cranky and it was either telling you about this or complaining about the annoying scooters that all the just-back-in-town-UMD-student-athletes have. I figured the scooters could wait for another day.
Today, I just want to whine.
So, thanks for listening.
AWWWW feel better soon! Time to find that muscle guy for a good massage :-)
ReplyDeleteSounds like you need a hot bath, some advil, and perhaps some real wine to ease your soul--and body--as that is what's really achy. Also, I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one lying in bed, looking at the ceiling fan and think about the swifer. Great minds. Great minds.
ReplyDeleteFeel better :)