Tuesday, August 9, 2011

It's in the Cards

When I was in San Diego, I went to a psychic.  You’re allowed to roll your eyes for one minute.  Okay.  You can stop now.
I sorta believe that there are people who have psychic powers.  Go ahead, roll them again, you know you want to.  But listen, I heard once that most humans only use 10% of their brain.  That means there’s 90% of brain-power that most of us don’t tap into…what if that’s the psychic part?  And if there are people who have tapped into that 90% part and they want to share their abilities for a small fee to tell me what might happen in the future…well, I’ve wasted money on a lot more expensive things in my life.
Psychic Lady immediately recognized my own psychic powers.  This isn’t the first time I’ve been told that I have a strong psychic aura (if you keep rolling your eyes, they’re gonna get stuck, so be careful!)  I mean, I don’t see dead people or anything but there have been times in my life when I see something in my mind and then it happens in real-life and I go whoa!  So, she told me I have psychic powers and, this is where it got creepy, she told me that unlike her, I do my work when I sleep.  She told me that I’m always tired and people think I’m lazy because I take lots of naps but I need those naps because I don’t really sleep at night…I’m doing my psychic work.  And here, I was blaming always being tired on a possible case of sleep apnea.  Guess I don’t need that sleep study after all!
She told me that I’ve just come out of seven years of instability and my life is stabilizing.  She said that I just got a new job with new responsibilities and people work under me.  I did just get a new job, have new responsibilities, and work on the 3rd floor above the people who work on the 2nd floor!  I’m feeling pretty stable too…except for occasional panic attacks and episodes of flailing hands.
I asked about my brother, Michael.  Then she asked me who the other Michael is…that would be our great-great grandfather.  She told me that he’s always around me.  I sure hope he liked that post I wrote about him last month.  Since I’m that kind of nosy sister, I asked whether my brother would ever get married.  She told me that Michelle, Jennifer, and Glenda would be entering his life and he would be getting married.  And our mother can stop worrying.    
You’re not really interested in my brother’s love-life are you?  But how about mine?  Yeah, me too.  She wanted to know what I wanted to know about current and former loves.  So, clearly, her psychic powers were a little cloudy when it came to that.  Although I totally missed my chance to ask about current and former crushes.  Darn!  But back to my (future) personal life.  I’m taking a huge chance here but I’m going to put it out into the universe despite the teasing that I’ll probably endure.  Psychic Lady told me that Mark, Steve*, and Tom (or Thomas)** will enter my life and there will be a marriage and pregnancy (it’s a boy!) by the time I’m 35.  So, I need to get myself up on that saddle soon.  And seriously revisit the Date 25 timeline.*** 
Here’s the creepy part, she told me that I can’t just go to work, obsess about work, and leave work just to go home and not do anything.  I need to get out and go out.  Like I haven’t heard that advice a gabillion times before.  But it did make me go, whoa.  That’s psychic power for ya.
She also told me that there will be more surgeries and one of those will be a tummy tuck.  So, um, maybe I should cut down on the Jersey Mike's cheesesteaks sooner rather than later? 
The very last question I asked Psychic Lady was whether someone would really fall in love with me, just for who I am.  She said yes, my life is on the upswing, and I just need to be open to it. 
I guess I do.  It is in the cards after all. 
*Steve entered my life yesterday.  He happens to be old and married and the guy I talked to about building a custom island.  Well, psychic powers aren’t always 100% accurate.
**A special note to Trix and Richmond – Seriously?!  Really?!  That wasn’t even funny.     
***I know, I know, Caesar Rodney, just get myself to Date 1 before I start worrying about Date 25.

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