Speaking with a Little Class

You ever see one of those shows on TV when a hypnotist/self-help guru/Fear Factor host subjects someone to their worst fear so that they can “work through it”?   Like, if you’re afraid of great big hairy spiders they’ll make you stick your hand in an aquarium of great big hairy spiders or if you’re afraid of jelly beans they’ll make you go on a tour of the Jelly Belly factory.  And all this is supposed to desensitize you or minimize the fear so that while you still might not enjoy big hairy spiders or jelly beans, you’re not as afraid of them anymore.  It’s like Take Back the Night only it’s Take Back the Fear.

That’s kinda like me and public speaking.  I’m subjecting myself to Toastmasters to work through my fear of public speaking but that doesn’t necessarily mean I want to run out and speak publicly ever every chance I get.  But there’s a little thing called “work obligations” and you can’t exactly say no when you have to give presentations.  Well, I guess you could but it wouldn’t look very good, would it?

The last two weeks have been a veritable public speaking-fest for me.  Last Tuesday, I had to make the introductory remarks at a lecture that I helped organize at work.  I started off strong and then I realized where I was and I kinda panicked and sped through the last two-thirds of the intro.  All that breathing stuff?   It went flying out the window. 

This past week, I taught a few training sessions which was actually enjoyable – I mean, not as enjoyable as a trip to the Caymans but it wasn’t like I was facing a firing squad or anything.  I definitely wasn’t the best presenter but I learned something – use a memorable graphic in your presentation and people will remember what you want them to do have to say.

Friday was the culmination of my public speaking engagements.  My boss was going out of town so she asked me to speak to a bunch of up and coming/already arrived archivists about our online catalog.  To be honest, it was an easy crowd.  Half of the people in the class were my friends, the other quarter I knew from various work things, and the rest, well, you can’t know everyone!

It was nerve-wracking because it was going to be videotaped and everyone would be staring at me I was talking about something I’ve never really talked about before.  I did a lot of practicing - thank God for SuperJ who not only sat through three practice sessions but counted every “um” I said and reminded me that the presentation did not have to be one very long sentence without pauses.  A period and a comma are spots where you breathe – advice for the ages.   

With my heart pounding, I went down to the lecture room at 8:30 Friday morning.  I wanted time to set up, log-in to the computer, run through my speech using the microphone, and make sure I was breathing at all the proper intervals.  A prepared speaker is a calm speaker.  Until it’s ten minutes before show time and the speaker realizes that she’s supposed to be in the room next door. 

Once I was where I was supposed to be, I looked out at the sea of friendly faces and launched into my speech.  Sure, there were some flubs and probably one too many “ums” for SuperJ’s liking but I think, overall, it went okay. 

Do I want to do it again?  No, not really.  Will I?  Yes, probably.  They say you have to do the things that scare you the most to make you a stronger person…so I guess I will.

Besides, it could've been a lot worse.  I could've been on that tour of the Jelly Belly factory. 

Winning

Two posts in one day and each on completely opposite ends of the emotional spectrum.  Lest you think I have a personality disorder (okay, if you ask my brother, he’ll say that I do), I want to assure you that the Oreos are gone, I’m quite fine, and sometimes people just have off nights.  I bet you’ve lain awake in the wee hours of the night worrying about something that bothered you.  It happens.  Lucky for me, I woke up this morning (whew!) and I was feeling much better.

And today wasn’t just any old day.  Nope.  Today was Toastmasters!  Last night, I wrote an “Icebreaker” speech basically about who I am and what I like to do – work, travel, and watch Deadliest Catch.  This morning I emailed the Grand Toastmaster and asked to be put on the agenda as one of the speakers.  Hey, if I’m going to do this thing, I’m not gonna waste my gas just to drive somewhere and listen to other people speak for an hour. 

What’s this? 

It’s where my trophy would be if the previous winner - known as Trophy Hoarder Guy - hadn’t “forgotten” to bring it tonight.  I’m a trophy-less winner.  That’s right.  I won best speaker!  There was only one other speaker but I still won - even without voting for myself!

In my evaluation, Trophy Hoarder Guy gave me high marks for the content of my speech and my enthusiasm for the things that I talked about.  My area to work on is learning how to slow down and take a breath.  I spoke for four minutes and they said I had a good five minutes of material (who needs an extra minute?!) 

Maybe it’s not the speaking part that I need to work on – maybe I need to practice breathing and pausing.  So, just in case we’re engaged in a conversation and I suddenly stop talking, don’t worry, I’m just taking a breath and practicing my pauses.  

Master of the Toast – No Bread Required

It’s rare for me to miss my afternoon nap.  It’s even rarer for me to intentionally miss it to do something that fills me with fear and dread.  But it’s a new year and I’m trying new things and having new adventures.  That’s why I found myself at a meeting of the local Toastmasters Club this evening.  Toastmasters – the club that’s been helping people “find their voice” since 1924.  I guess even back then people were terrified of public speaking!

It’s no secret – I love to talk.  But the idea of being in front of people when they’re staring at me, listening to what I’m saying, and wondering just how large the sweat rings under my armpits will get before the speech is over…well, that all petrifies me.  Only the idea of dying in a fiery inferno, doing my own taxes, and ending up in a federal penitentiary scares me more. 

I’ve always been afraid of speaking in front of people.  When I was in elementary school, I was in my church’s Christmas Pageant.  All the Catholic school kids got the good parts; the CCD kids were relegated to the secondary parts – the choir of angels and the farm animals - I was the donkey (yeah, I was a badass CCD kid).  I had one line to say – “I’m the donkey and I carried Mary to the manger.”  I got up to the microphone and timidly began – “I’m the donk – donk – donk –“  I’m pretty sure everyone in the audience was wondering the same thing – what’s wrong with the jackass?

Sure, I’ve made lots of speeches since then.  But I don’t feel like I’ve really improved since I was that jack donkey on the stage way back when.  I’m always in such a rush to get through the speech so everyone can just stop paying attention to me that I talk supersuperfastandnoonereallyunderstandswhati’msaying.  BREATHE.  Oh God, now I have to answer questions?!

I really want to become more comfortable speaking in front of large medium groups of people.  For three main reasons:  1) In my new job, I'll be doing some training in a classroom setting and I think it would be beneficial to all concerned if they understood me; 2) I’ve been going to more and more meetings and well sometimes I have things to say and I don't want to be so nervous about taking the floor, so to speak; 3) I want to be prepared just in case Oprah calls and wants me to go on a public speaking tour.  What?  It could happen.   

That’s why I decided to join Toastmasters.  I will admit that I asked the Head Toastmaster prior to my arrival if I was going to have to speak tonight.  Luckily, I didn’t.  But I had on my clinical strength antiperspirant, just in case.  Anyway, the whole thing was very chill and relaxed (well, for me at least – I wasn’t getting up in front of everyone to talk for 5-7 minutes!)  The people were super-nice and supportive because guess what – they were in my Crocs once upon a time. 

Here’s the best part.  Each speech gets evaluated and the best speakers of the night get a trophy.  Now, as much as I hate public speaking, I love a good competition and kitschy knick-knacks that can clutter up my house/car/cubicle.

So, game on Toastmasters.  That trophy’s coming home with me one day.