I Got Game!

For a good time, call Denise.  Supposedly, that's the word on the street.  And the word on the street is never wrong.    

I like having fun and making people laugh.  And I really like making games to play; well, really making people play games.  Not all games, mind you.  I’m not into games that involve math, boards, pressure, stealing gifts, pinning tails on live donkeys, or asking Red Rover for permission to come over.  My games of choice involve trivia and random factoids that you only learn when you buy those fun fact-of-the-day calendars.   

I’m currently organizing a couple of games for some upcoming parties.  One email requesting my assistance went like this – verbatim – “Hi Denise, blah, blah, blah, blah, do something fun.  Blah, blah, blah.  Nothing childish.”  Clearly, the live-action version of Candy Land that I planned would not do.  No worries!  The new game will be completely fun and completely mature in a sensible, respectable adult way filled with lots of teachable moments.  I not only know how to show people a good time but I teach them while I’m at it! 

But I'm really, really excited about an awesome game that I've been developing that I think will take the world by storm!  In fact, if I knew how to make an app, I could probably make an app, charge 99 cents and make at least $1,000!  But alas, I don’t know how to make apps and I don’t know any app designers so I’m out of luck.  But I don’t want the world to miss out on this game so I’m giving up the chance to become an app millionaire and telling you about this game FOR FREE! 

I got the idea when I went to an Indiana Jones Movie Marathon Extravaganza and I’ve been refining it ever since.  Here are the rules – you get three names of movie characters and you have to guess the movie!  You get so many points if you guess it on the first (hardest) name, fewer points if you guess it on the second (kinda hard) name, and even fewer points if you guess it on the last (and easiest) name.  Then each round gets increasingly harder as the movies become more obscure.  I haven’t figured out the point system yet because it involves math and math makes my head hurt.

But we can still play!  Okay here goes (answers at the end of the post) -  

1.        Nick Bradshaw
2.       Tom Kazansky
3.        Pete Mitchell

Anyone?  Anyone at all?  Would it help if I changed it to –

1.       Goose
2.       Iceman
3.       Maverick

Oh geez.  I totally gave it away!

Here's another one - 

1.       Brandon Walsh
2.       Stef Steinbrenner
3.       Data Wang

Here’s a free clue – when I saw Data in one of the Indiana Jones movies, I came up with this game! 

Okay, here’s one that I had to really think about!

1.       Quirinus Quirrell
2.       Minerva McGonagall
3.       Ron Weasley

I have to admit – I’m a Harry Potter virgin so I had to get some help from IMDB!

So – what do you think?  Can you see you and your friends having hours and hours of fun with this game?  Because I sure can! 

Hmm, I wonder if anyone ever called Milton Bradley for a good time.    

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1 – Top Gun
2 – The Goonies
3 – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone  

Sick Daze

For the past few days, I’ve been sick.  I don’t mean like sniffle, sniffle, cough, cough.  I mean (said in my most dramatic fashion) I was on my deathbed unsure if recovery was humanly possible.  At least, that’s what I told my mom when she called to check on me.  Thankfully, the death plague has passed.  They’ve lifted the quarantine off of my house.  I can rejoin the human race again.

A few things you should know:

I don’t get sick often.  Sniffle, sniffle, cough, cough – yeah, sure.  That happens to all of us.  But really, really sick.  Nah, not me.   Maybe it’s the flu shot that I get every year religiously.  Maybe it’s my super-human immune system.  Whatever.  The last time that I got really, really sick was like ten years ago.  It wasn’t fun then and it wasn’t fun now. 

I rarely call out of work sick.  This week, I had to do it twice.  At the end of the government’s fiscal year.  I failed my team.  I failed my agency.  I failed you, the American people.  To top it all off, I probably infected a bunch of colleagues.  Talk about guilt.  On the bright side…aww heck, there isn’t a bright side. 

I’m not stocked with the proper supplies to survive getting sick.  Well, I’m actually not stocked with the proper supplies to survive much of anything.  But I can usually run to the store to get those supplies.  Not this week.  (Although I did go out to get ginger ale.  In my pajamas with a huge hole in the back of my pants.  I didn’t much care.) 

I live by myself.  Living by oneself when one is sick sucks.  When my brother (who also lives by himself) gets sick, my mom is at his house in seven minutes with chicken noodle soup and ginger ale to make sure he’s okay.  Because she lives seven minutes away from him.  My mom lives two and a half hours and $35 in tolls away from me.  She doesn’t bring me chicken noodle soup.  Probably because of the tolls. 

I’m not the best when it comes to asking for help.  I always thought that meant I was strong and independent.  Really, it just means I have a huge flaw in my character.

Operation Influenza Drop

This week I needed a little help from my friends. 

And by the power of social media – and my mom – help was generously offered and gratefully accepted.  One of my friends brought me medicine and tea bags and soup and even a pile of DVDs.  Other friends offered to bring me anything that I needed.  That meant a lot to me.  Especially when I got all maudlin and weepy when I was sure that I was going to shrivel up and die and the only people that would notice would be my little cat family.  Did I mention that I tend to be a little dramatic? 

I’m incredibly thankful.

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And now, a few observations that I made during my sick daze – 

Having no ABC soap operas to get me through from noon-thirty to four o’clock was just sad.  The death of the soap opera is the death of an art form!  They canceled “All My Children” for “The Chew”??? 

Ginger ale is disgusting.  There’s a reason I usually only drink brown sodas.  (And now for a brief tangent – this is why I believe restaurants have a moral responsibility to inform patrons that the Coke machine isn’t working before they pay for their drink – clear sodas stink.  Do you hear that Boston Market?!) 

The ladies on “The View” are annoying.  So are the ladies on “The Talk” although they are more diverse -  two black ladies, a lesbian, a Brit, and a media mogul’s wife versus two black ladies, a Republican, an octogenarian, and Joy Behar. 

Saltines are good crumbled up in soup.

Anderson Cooper is good people.  (Full disclosure, I met Anderson Cooper at a book signing once – he seemed like a genuine guy!)

Cats don’t care that their human might be sick.  They just want food.  And they’ll walk all over you to get it.

Katie Couric’s stage looks like a giant kidney bean.

I get a lot of calls from 1-800 numbers during the day.  I thought I was on a Do Not Call list somewhere! 

Being sick is no fun.

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Finally feeling much better!  Although – in my never-ending quest to understand the definition of irony – is it ironic that I’m going for my flu shot next week?  Or just rotten luck?

Night and Day

So, there I was – at the Philadelphia airport with a first class ticket on a flight to Minneapolis, Minnesota.  The next morning.

You didn’t expect me to spend the night at the airport did you? 

Brother to the rescue.

Now, don’t get to thinking that he’s a prince among men and all that stuff.  In fact, through my whole travel ordeal, he was sending me texts and calling me saying such supportive things like – “You’ve been to London, you should be able to handle this.”  “You’re a world traveler!”  “Are you hangry?  I bet you’re hangry!”  “I’m trying to be supportive…like a jock strap!”  “Still hangry?” 

Granted, he did play a crucial part in translating for my parents who don’t do very well in the communication department in times of crisis. 

I think my brother realized that I was at the end of the rope when I was trying to make sense of the SEPTA train timetable and was crying again realized I had justmissed a train and would have to wait another god knows how long for the next one.  So, he said the magic word:  “I’ll come pick you up and we’ll go get dinner.”  Dinner being the magic word, of course.

My tears dissipated, everything became right in the world again, and I remembered that heroes do walk among us. 

And that’s the story of how I flew to Philadelphia to have dinner with my brother. 

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When we were kids my mom used to tell people that my brother and I were as different as night and day. 

He was artistic. I was not. 

I was a reader.  He was not.

He was athletic.  I was not.

I was a good student.  He was not.

He was intellectually gifted.  I was not. 

I was a morning person.  He most definitely was not. 

Things haven’t really changed in 30 odd years.    

We’re still pretty different. 

I believe strongly in punctuality.  My brother lives life according to his own clock which seems to be in a time zone that no one has quite discovered except for him. 

My brother’s house is decorated with a discerning eye towards detail.  The fact that the screws in my light switch plates aren’t aligned the same way makes him bonkers. 

I can’t smell an ashtray on fire right next to me (yes, it really happened).  My brother can walk into a room and get sick from the smell of cigarette smoke.   

My brother whips up amazing meals for family and friends.  I offer family and friends the bounty of my take-out menu drawer. 

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As we ate dinner that night and he told me a story about work, I realized that, in some respects, we’re not so different after all. 

My brother is an HVAC guy…he installs heaters and boilers and big stuff like that and he’s very serious and very meticulous about it.  Sometimes, I get the sense that his tendency towards perfectionism might drive his coworkers crazy.  I wondered aloud if he was being a bit tough on them.  He got very agitated and said things had to be done a certain way – his way – so that it was done right.  I thought he was on a very high horse, indeed.

And then I chuckled because really, when it comes to work, I’m the same way.  My brother flips out about ductwork.  I flip out about improper records arrangement, crooked labels, and people not spell-checking their work.  Sometimes, I ride a pretty high horse myself.     

Yeah, we’re still as different as night and day. 

But every night has some light and every day has its darkness. 

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(This morning person is eternally grateful that her not-a-morning-person brother got up at 4:30 to take her to the airport the next morning!)

First Class

It got dicey, folks.  I could’ve ended up in Chicago.  Or Detroit. 

But you remember where I was stranded, right?  Philadelphia. 

You know – where I’m from in a close enough kinda way.  Close enough to where my parents and brother still live in towns with names that nobody really knows so we just say we’re from Philadelphia.

Yep.  I was "stranded" all right.

So, I actually had somewhere to spend the night if I needed to.  Didn’t stop the tears though.  I’ve been told that I can be a little over the top sometimes. 

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Did I mention that I was going to Minnesota for a wedding reception on a riverboat?

The wedding was on Saturday at 1:30 PM Central Standard Time.  As of 8:08 PM Eastern Standard Time on Friday night, there were no departing flights to Minneapolis that would get me there on time.

Until my mom got involved. 

By the time my mom got off the phone with whomever she was talking to I was booked on an early morning flight from Philadelphia to DC to Minneapolis.  I was scheduled to land in Minneapolis at 12:05 PM Central Standard Time.  Plenty of time to make it to the wedding on time.   

Oh, and I was in first class. 

That’s what happens when my mom gets involved.

Travel Baggage

Two Fridays ago, I set off on an epic travel adventure.  I mean, it wasn’t around the world in 80 days epic.  Or even sail the ocean blue in 1492 epic. 

I was just trying to get to Minnesota. 

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When I was in 5^th grade, on the way home from school one day, the school bus driver forgot to stop at my stop.  I was terrified.  And I did what I always do when I’m scared.  I panicked.  And I started to cry.  Those tears were embarrassing because 1) I was a big 5^th Grader and 2) I was sobbing in front of my elementary school crush Greg Tarlo whom I was 97% sure was going to be my future husband one day. 

But as the bus rumbled past my stop, thoughts of my future marital bliss weren’t on my mind.  I was more concerned about where I was going to end up.  Even more concerning than that though was how I was going to communicate with my mom to tell her where I was once I ended up where I ended up.

This all happened before the age of the cell phone.  Before the car phone, even.  It was a time when people saved their quarters to pay Ma Bell for the privilege of using one of her phones.  Which worked great.  Unless you couldn’t hear on them.  Like me. 

The fear of being stuck somewhere without any way to communicate with my mother ship runs deep.  And usually results in lots of tears. 

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Two Fridays ago, at 3 in the afternoon, I set off on a trip that would end in Minneapolis at 8:00 Central Standard Time. 

By 3:45 PM, I ran into my first travel obstacle, a delayed flight from Baltimore to Philadelphia.  But I wasn’t worried…my flight from Philadelphia to Minneapolis was delayed too.  Travel Karma was on my side.

By 6:43 PM, Travel Karma had bitten me in the ass. 

By 7:05 PM, I was in full-scale-the-bus-driver-didn’t-stop-at-my-stop-and-what-if-I-never-see-my-family-again panic mode.

And then I started to cry.

I had no idea where I was going to end up. 

Two Fridays ago, it wasn’t Minnesota. 

Taking a Bite Out of the Big Apple

Looking up at the Chrysler Building

A couple of years ago, a friend from work came back laden with gifts after a visit to New York City.  I received a mug emblazoned with the bold proclamation “I [heart] NY” to add to my already sizeable – and much loved – mug collection.  But whenever I used that particular mug, I didn’t feel legit.  Certainly not as legit as I felt when I sipped from my #1 Sister mug.  ‘Cause, while it’s a well-established fact that I am indeed a #1 Sister, I never exactly [hearted] NY.   

I’m not exactly a fan of “the city”.  And by “the city,” I don’t mean a specific city; I mean cities that are really big and noisy and filled with really tall buildings.  I prefer my cities to be slightly smaller.  Or suburban.    

Last week, I spent three and a half days in New York City.  This was really my first time spending a significant amount of time in the heart of the Big Apple.  To be honest, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it.  It’s just so big and noisy and crowded and there are all those really tall buildings.  I was filled with anxious trepidation.  And an overwhelming fear of getting swept away and lost.  Luckily, I was going with two friends, one of whom really, really [hearts] New York City.  And who knows how to cross the street like a true city girl. 

On my trip, I learned that New York City is many things.

It is extremes and in betweens.

It is hustle and bustle and moments of serene solitude. 

It is skyscrapers and shrines.

It is food carts and ice cream trucks and the Russian Tea Room.

It is bright lights and dark alleys. 

It is Upper and Lower.  East Side and West Side.  Downtown.  Midtown.  Uptown.

It is the city that never sleeps.  Except for that guy on the church steps. 

It is past, and present, and future.  All in one city block. 

It is the citiest of cities.

And I survived it.  With a little help from my friends. 

I [heart] NY might still be too strong of a sentiment for me; however, I can honestly now say that I [fondly appreciate] NY.

I wonder if that’ll fit on a mug.    

Some Things to Like About Madison

I just got home from Madison, Wisconsin.  “Just” being a totally relative term, of course -  there’s been about seven naps in between getting home and sitting down to write this post…

I spent a week in Madison for some personal professional development.  When I told people that I was going there, they had nothing but nice things to say about the city and they told me that I was going to love it.  Frankly, it seemed like everyone was mad for Madison.  It’s certainly nice – although no Seattle; but hey, not every city can have its very own Space Needle.   

Luckily, Madison wasn’t all spending eight hours a day in a classroom work and no play.  Compiled below are some things that I liked about Madison.  

1.     The view 

Madison is located on an isthmus (I’ll save you the trip to Wikipedia. An isthmus is a narrow strip of land bordered on both sides by water, connecting two larger bodies of land.) It’s surrounded by Lake Mendota and Lake Monona. All that water was quite pleasing to my Piscean sensibilities. 

2.      Babcock ice cream

When people talk about Madison, they inevitably end it with – “you gotta get the ice cream at the Union!” The University of Wisconsin at Madison has a dairy on campus and makes their own ice cream. We’re talking creamy, pure ice cream with like 15% butterfat content or something. I love ice cream. I loved this ice cream.

3.     Fried cheese curds

Basically, they’re little fried balls of cheese…curds. Honestly, I never asked what “curds” are. Actually, I don’t know what whey is either. And what’s a tuffet? And why was Humpty Dumpty sitting on that wall? Sorry. Weird nursery rhyme tangent. Fried cheese curds: They’re fried. They’re cheese. They’re good.

4.     Beer 

Madison is a beer connoisseur’s dream. I’m not a beer connoisseur. That said, I did try a beer. Not an Indian Pale Ale (IPA) because those are hoppy. I don’t know what hoppy beer is but a friend told me that once so now I just say that to pretend that I know anything about beer. This is the only beer that I had in Madison. It’s not an IPA. It was pretty good. And yes, there’s a lot of head. Whoops.

5.     There was a beer hall in the Student Union

Again, not a beer drinker. But come on, even I can appreciate that there was a full-on beer hall – with steins – in the Student Union. A beer hall in the Student Union. If my brother had known about this place, he might’ve actually filled out his college applications. Interesting historical fact – the University of Wisconsin at Madison was the first college to allow beer to be sold on campus. In the beer hall. In the Student Union.

6.     Noodles in an old building

 In Madison, I could’ve eaten noodles in an old building because Noodles and Company is literally in an old building!

7.     No firearms allowed

 I saw this sign in the windows of a couple bars. I thought it was a nice reminder for people that they weren’t allowed to hide guns, knives, switchblades, or nunchucks in their pants. But it totally ruined my go-to pick-up line - hey buddy, are you packin' tonight?